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Category Archives: Roy Cram


Part 4

For several weeks Yorrdamma wandered alone in the woods, living off the land.

 He was now nine years old, and because of Aylgamer’s enchantments, had already

 reached physical maturity, standing about six feet tall and weighing around two

 hundred and fifty pounds. His bones were ogre-hard, and his trollish muscle made

 him twice as strong as a man of similar build. Given the spells he had learned and

 the fighting and brawling skills he had been taught, he was not to be taken lightly in any kind of fight.

So, when one night, he was set upon by a small patrol of SWA consisting of six orcs,

he gave an excellent account of himself, slaying five before their leader finally wounded

 and overpowered him. As the big brawny orc cursed him and prepared to deliver a fatal

 stroke with his sword, an Elf arrow suddenly pierced his thick neck, killing him instantly.

Throwing the body of his foe off, Yorrdamma struggled to his feet. Out of the trees and bushes

 around the scene of the fight came a group of fighters, all applauding him. After cautious

 introductions had been made, they bound up Yorrdamma’s wounds, and took him back to their camp.

This was a small group of mercenary fighters dedicated to making war on Zekrim Gedokrist

 and his evil servants. All of them had been injured, and/or lost friends or loved ones to the

 depredations of the Withered Arm, and were sworn to vengeance. Their chief and leader

 was a wood Elf named Feyanor who was master with the Elf bow. The others included:

 Barlow, a Hobbit Rogue and Assassin; Mikallus, a grizzled veteran of many wars and

 conflicts who was deadly in battle; Hogar, a hulking Berserker and one man wrecking

 crew; and a female half-orc named Zunda, a Rogue both woods wise, and skilled in the

cantrips and hedge magics known to the forest peoples.

When they had heard Yorrdamma’s sad story, and shared their own tales of woe,

 they voted to adopt him into their little company. Yorrdamma’s ability to render

 first aid and healing served him as well as his fighting prowess, and his ability to

 throw a good sized rock like a small cannon ball amazed them. Over the next year

 he served well and faithfully in the group, and was, in turn, taught many useful things

by each of the members. With his eidetic memory he soaked up new knowledge like a

 sponge. For twelve months they labored to kill and harrass the SWA wherever and

 whenever they could, and they became a major thorn in the side of the commander in charge of the area.

Finally, tired of having to report this nuisance to his superiors at Hari-Na-Gregulden,

the commander put together a squad of his best warriors and sent them out to rid him

 of these pests, or not to return! In an ensuing ambush by this large and terrible force,

 Yorrdamma alone was able to extricate himself from the trap and flee. Grieving his slain

 brothers and his sister-in-arms (she had taught him more that just magic and Rogue skills),

 he fled from the friendless and now deadly Fenwood, and headed out onto the great plains

 of Valesia, looking for a city somewhere where he might finally make a life for himself.

Part 5

To understand the world in which Yorrdamma Vrash struggled to survive,

 it is necessary to give a bit of the history of the kingdom of Valesia. This nation

 was founded by the Priest Kings of the City State of Mora who ccnquered their

 neighbor states and united them into a single large kingdom. They then built in

Mora a great temple to their deity Omvar who sent them a stone tablet containing

 laws and spells to ensure their sovereignty.

But, in the far west, the Gedokrist family, who worshipped dark gods,chafed under

 the rule of the of the Valikor monarchs, During the reign of Valikorin VI,

Diskorjia Gedokrist came to Mora and used her dark sorceries to seduce the king.

But, when it was learned that she carried the king’s child, she was forced to flee

back to the fortress on Mount Angwich, and her dreams of becoming the queen of the land were dashed.

Here she festered, full of hate and frustration, and she gave birth to Zekrim Gedokrist whom

 she swore to vengeance. It was also at this time that she began the experiments in Troll husbandry

 that produced Urdammu and eventually, Yorrdamma.

When Zekrim reached maturity he and his mother took their army and set out to attack Mora.

(This was the time when Yorrdamma was born and his mother escaped from the castle).

 Diskorjia’s agents had stirred up much unrest in the nation over the years, and she had

 pursuaded the Duke of the city of Kardyak to attack Mora promising him aid (which never came).

While the army of Mora was off crushing the hapless forces of Kardyak, Zekrim and his host entered

 Mora at night through the vast sewer system beneath the city. They stormed the palace and slew the

 king there. They then took the crown and went to the great temple. No one could be king of Valesia

 unless crowned in the presence of the Holy Tablet. But, Falordin, the High Priest, would not crown

 Zekrim, and, when he received word that the army of Mora was returning in haste, in his rage he

 slew the stubborn priest, and then threw down and shattered the Holy Tablet. Immediately

 the temple was rocked by an earthquake, and with a great peal of thunder the Deva Aramvolt

issued forth from the broken tablet, and smote Zekrim with his rod of Divine Retribution. ” Withered forever

 in dire agony shall remain the arm that dared profane the tablet of Omvar”, said the Angel. He then gathered

up the shards and disappeared.

Zekrim was carried away in great pain by his minions. As they fled from Mora,

 the cavalry of Mora entered the gates in pursuit. Diskorjia stayed to delay them,

but her act cost her her life. Hard pressed, Zekrim’s group fled west, hotly pursued.

But as they climbed the western hills the stricken wizard found enough strength to

 destroy with a Hellbomb Burst the stone dam that held back the lake in the hills above

 the Mora flood plain, and the pursuing cavalry and the city of Mora were overwhelmed

and buried in a sea of mud and debris.

So Zekrim returned, defeated, to his castle which he named Hari-Na-Gregulden,

the House of Bitter Torment. While Valesia broke again into many small city states,

 he tried to relieve the agony of his withered arm, but to no avail. No remedy could

 abate its pain, and, if removed, another like it grew back with terrible pain and suffering.

 Finally Zekrim became a lich, but even this did not win him respite. He then took a vow

 that he would not rest til he had conquered Valesia, and all the world of Kaball, and all creatures suffered as he did.

Thus he gathered his resources and began to create the Servants of the Withered Arm which

 were to cause so much grief and trouble for Yorrdamma and for all the people of the former nation of Valesia

Mad Roy Cram channelling Yorrdamma Vrash

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And here I thought that Mad Roy had promised me a short biography of Yorrdamma Vrash.

Apparently, this semi-biblical narrative will go for a long, long time.

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Here I continue the strange tale of Yorrdamma Vrash.  Actually, Roy Cram continues it.  Let me emphasize that I, Atroll, am not writing or making this stuff up–I’m just passing it along. 

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Yordamma Vrash, part 2

   After Urdammu fled into the forests near Castle Gedokrist she found herself in a place completely foreign to her experience. But, thanks to Aylgamer’s magics she was pretty smart and a troll can eat most anything. She was able to find fruits and berries to subsist on and baby Yorrdamma had his mother’s milk to sustain him. At first her main goal, and a wise one, was to put as much distance between herself and the Castle as possible. She was lucky too, that she did not encounter any large or really dangerous creatures during that that time.   After about a week of hard travel thru the woods Urdammu heard roaring and cries for help. She went to see who was in danger, and in a small clearing, found two Hobbit women in a small tree threatened by a large brown bear.  The bear then made a bad decision and attacked the 8 foot tall 500 pound she troll, and Urdammu made good use of her big ironwood cudgel and dispatched the creature. When the Hobbit men arrived they found their ladies teaching the huge troll how to skin and field dress the bear, while they held the tiny Yorrdamma.  After explanations were made the Hobbits were grateful and invited Urdammu and her child to stay a while with them. While most of their previous experience with trolls had not been good, Urdammu’s intelligence and docile nature to those who did not offer her harm won them over. In the days that followed the big she troll proved to be a huge help to the little folk, helping them with the heavy chores like tilling, and chopping wood and clearing brush. She also kept away large creatures that might otherwise find a Hobbit an easy prey. The Bobbin family decided to take her and her baby in, and she was happy there with them.

The Bobbins consisted of Grandpa Bobbin and his wife, his two sons and their wives, and a boy and girl Hobbit. They lived together in a nice cave which they had made into a comfortable Hobbit hole.  Yorrdamma grew up here in this pleeasnt and peaceful environment, and all were amazed at how quickly he grew (Aylgamer’s meddling made him develop quickly), and they were even more amazed at his amazing memory and intelligence. By the third year he could speak Hobbit and Common tongue and had learned to read (and had memorized) the few books the Hobbits owned. At that point Grandpa Bobbin began to teach the little fellow (who was now as large as an adult Hobbit) all he could. Grandpa Bobbit had delved for a good while as a Rogue and done well. He taught Yorrdamma all he could of the basic Rogue skills. He also taught him, along with the Hobbit children, how to fight with a knife, a sling, and a club. In addition, both Urdammu and Yorrdamma learned to throw rocks from their Hobbit friends who were masters of that skill. In Yorrdamma’s fourth year the Bobbins became friends with an ageing Crone who lived nearby. They helped her with food and with chores she could no longer perform herself due to age. And here Yorrdamma learned his first magics. The Crone was a powerful witch and saw the potential in the little troll. Like Grandfather Bobbin she taught him all she could about the plants of the woods and how to use them for healing and other purposes. She was amazed at how quickly he picked up the knowledge and the ability to use the few spells she was able to show him. Here he learned to cast: Detect Magic, Bug Plague, Got a Match?, Hello Sunshine, Nofeelums, Psychic compass, Spit In Your Eyes, You Clot, and Will-O-Wisp.

   Alas, Yorrdamma and Urdammu could have lived out their days with the Bobbins happily, but the Gedokrist, having failed to overthrow and conquer Valesia, now sent out the Servants of the Withered Arm. And one awful day, when Urdammu and Yorrdamma returned to the Bobbin Hobbit hole, they found it pillaged and ruined, and the Hobbits all dead except for the two youngest Hobbits who had been hidden away by their grandfather when the SWA attacked. Urdammu and her cudgel made short work of the few SWA goons, except for one that escaped. Urdammu realized that they would come back in force, and she gathered her child and the two young hobbits and what they could salvage and fled for the nearest settlement a two day journey away. They tried to talk the Crone into coming, but the old witch sent them on their way. She gave Yorrdamma an old magic wand that had belonged to a wizard friend, and then went back into her little house to prepare a warm welcome for the SWA.

   Thus ended the days of Yorrdamma and Urdammu’s halcyon stay in the woods

Part 3

About a day’s journey to the east of the Hobbit’s home was the small village of Inyerface. Here a few hundred hardy souls made a living from the woods, trading mainly in furs and wood  products. Urdammu and Yorrdamma and the two surviving Hobbits arrived there and were admitted only because the Hobbits had relatives in the town. Urdammu, however, was able to find work moving freight for a local merchant. The people of Inyerface did not trust or like Trolls though, and were not friendly to the big she troll or her offspring. After Urdammu busted a couple heads of locals for teasing and tormenting her son, she joined a merchant’s caravan as a guard and headed east again.

   They finally settled in another stockaded hamlet where an old Wizard had established a trading post and infirmary and dealt in magic goods. The wizard, Boniface, was pleased to gain the services of a Troll since he used small amounts of Troll blood in many of his healing remedies, and he took Urdammu and Yordamma into his house. He was also fascinated by the remarkable differences in these Trolls which did not fit in with the characteristics of any Trolls he was familiar with. Here Yorrdamma began his education in earnest. Boniface and his wife were astonished at the young trolls memory and intelligence and began to teach him spells and other essential skills. Here he was taught Take That You Fiend, Hold That Pose, Knock Knock, Lock Tight, Oh There It Is, Oh Go Away, Vorpal Blade, Dura Spell,  and Poor Baby. He also became adept at making potions and charms.  In addtition, he was educated by a grim old warrior, whom he tended and helped heal, to fight with two knives at once, and got a thorough education in the nasty art of Brawling which stopped the locals from teasing and annoying him. Soon the yound Troll was a full fledged member of the infirmary’s healing staff and an expert in first aid and treatment of all kinds of diseases and injuries.  In the four years he spent here he reached a height of five feet and weighed a stocky two hundred pounds.

But Zekrim Gedokrist continued to work his evil on the world, and one dark day, the Servants of the Withered Arm fell upon Boniface’s little community and overran it. Yorrdamma was not present as he had left early in the morning to gather herbs and plants for his medicines in the woods, but Urdammu and Boniface and the rest of the town fought desperately. As Urdammu battled furiously with her great cudgel, a wizard entered the fray and attacked Boniface with his spells. Urdammu recognized this new foe as Aylgamer, the one who had made her and her son. Boniface managed to disspell Aylgamer’s shield spell but was overcome by his vicious response. However, his back was turned on the field as he throttled the old wizard, and Urdammu took a large round stone the size of an orange from her belt pack and threw it with great force. The Hobbit’s teachings and years of practice served her well; the stone embedded itself in the back of Aylgamer’s skull. Thus perished the evil monster maker of Castle Gedokrist.  Urdammu fought bravely on, and was the last to fall in this battle, using an orc as a club as the rest dragged her down, pierced by many weapons.

   When Yorrdamma returned he was horrified to see what had happened. There were only a few orc SWA still there looting the ruins. They attacked the young Troll wizard and he dispatched them with his powerful spells and his flashing blades. Then he found his mother surrounded by heaps of the SWA whom she had slain. She opened her eyes and smiled at her son, then died in his arms. He had exhausted his kremm fighting the orcs and could not help her, and he wept bitter tears of grief, Later, as he stood before the cairn under which he laid her body, he swore an oath that some day, some how, he would make Zekrim Gedokrist regret that he had ever been born. Them he gathered his meagre belongings together and headed east again, making his lonely way in an unfriendly world.

 to be continued


The following strange tale comes to me from a member of Trollhalla, one Roy Cram by name.  Back in the day he published a couple of solo dungeons with Flying Buffalo.  He mentions places I’ve never heard of, and mating practices that seem unlikely to say the least.  He seems somewhat confused, but I’ll let him tell his tale.  The troll mother he describes must be one of the fleshy trolls and not a true rock troll as rock trolls do not mate and reproduce in the fashion he describes.  Aside from that I suppose we should believe most of this delirium–after all, we do actually have Yorrdamma Vrsash himself as proof that some sort of miscegenation produced him.

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combination Goblin and Troll--guess at the appearance of Yorrdamma Vrash.

Yorrrdamma Vrash’s story part one

Oh Great Khenn Arrth:  I, Yorrdamma Vrash, crave Your attention. Attend me I beg you. Here,  on this crude stone altar that I raised, I offer You the life blood of this Goblin who, with his companions, now dead, tried to murder me as I rested here in the midst of the Mistywood (Sound of squealling cut short by the Whack! of a Sax severing a neck). Long I have wished to tell my story, and since the recent battle with the goblin thieves has made sleep impossible, I now propose to narrate the tale of my life. May it please You to hear it.

If not, You are a Deity, and can do as You please. If I displease You, pray do not smite me.

Ignore me if I am beneath or unworthy of Your notice, but my life passes burning through my memory now, and tell the tale I must, if only to these four dead Goblins and these mist enshrouded trees.

Yorrdamma was born in the Troll warrens beneath Castle Gedokrist on Mount Angwich. This was in the days before Zekrim Gedokrist buried the great city of Mora beneath a sea of mud. It was in this time that the Gedokrist was busy raising a huge army to make war on his half-brother, King Valikorum of Valesia. Zekrim was determined to have a large contingent of Trolls in his army for ‘shock’ troops. Since the hill and rock trolls of this region were unruly and mostly opposed to serving as his vassals, Zekrim assigned the wizard Aylgamer to ‘recruit and train’ a group of Troll soldiers. To this hard task Aylgamer diligently applied himself.  He rounded up a large number of trolls and began to ‘train’ them, using magic and harsh discipline. In addition he started a series of experiments in selective and magic enhanced breeding to produce a creature more suitable than the rough and hard to control feral Trolls. His efforts began to create a race of Trolls that were smarter, tougher (!), more tractable, and able to sustain exposure to sunlight. All seemed to be going well.

Yorrdamma’s mother was one of the first generation progeny using Rock Trolls. She was impressive physically and relatively docile, but smart enough not to let on to her masters that she was a good deal smarter than they thought she was. When she reached the age of bearing young she was impregnated with Troll semen laced with traces of magically enhanced human, Ogre, and Demon seed.  Her gestation proceeded at a rapid pace, and Yorrdamma came into the world early and unattended. He was tiny and ugly, a ‘runt’ troll or Trollish equivalent to a human dwarf. But Urdammu’s heart was overwhelmed with love for this tiny ugly helpless creature. She had seen the progeny of her Troll sisters removed from them at birth, and knew that this babe would go straight to the kitchen to enrich some pot of stew. This was the first thing in her life that she felt really truly belonged to her. So, when Aylgamer’s Orc assistants saw she had borne offspring and tried to take the whelp from her, she tore the arm off the first and beat the second one to death with the bloody end of the amputated limb.

Now at this time Zekrim was mustering his army for the assault on Valesia and there was much confusion in the camp.  Urdammu wrapped her baby in a blanket, put him in a box of supplies, found a big cudgel and took off through the camp looking like she had business to attend to. She left in her wake, with crushed heads, a couple of orcs who dared to try and hinder her with questions, and made it to the woods before her escape from the warrens was noticed and an alarm raised.

This is the end of part one – part two to follow soon.

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Here the narrative breaks off, although the writer has promised me more of this weird tale.  Note the antique language–orc instead of uruk, also the antiquated notion that gods require blood sacrifices.  In these modern times blood isn’t that much good to us.  Money is the sacrifice we really want from our followers.

Well, we will see what comes of Yorrdamma Vrash’s autobiography.

end